It's already the end of October. There are the odd warm days but I can certainly feel winter's breath not too far away. There is a growing feeling of anxiousness in my chest. It's been building up as we move ahead with the third album. To date, we have 20 tunes on the table, and we keep on writing. I had a moment to listen to them tonight. Although I cannot go into details, I can say that we have definitely pushed the envelope on this one.

And on this third album, Carolyn Fe Blues Collective will stand alone. Allow me to share my fear with you, my anonymous readers.

I know where this feeling of anxiousness is coming from. It's the fear of standing alone. It brings me back to my childhood, when we moved to Canada and lived in a French community and, we didn't speak a word of French. It was a harsh realization that I was different. The kids in the neighbourhood certainly made sure to point it out. Their ignorance of other cultures and their uncertainty of the difference between them and I were expressed in the form of what we now call, bullying.

In a society where motivational speakers preach the virtues of standing alone, they seem to forget to speak about the realities of how one ends up standing alone when it is a basic human instinct to want to belong. Bullying makes standing alone painful. I remember the stares, fingers pointed at me, laughter in my face, gossip behind my back, but there I stood withmy head held high and a deep conviction in my heart that payback will be ever so sweet. This deep conviction remains true in me, especially today. Bullying has no age limit.

At the time, I found it hard to believe that there would be a day when we would be accepted into the community. As my bio says, I «learned to negotiate from the sidelines» until one day, I took my place. You see, new beginnings are not the issue for me. Either by choice or life's offerings, I've had lots of new beginnings. I'm like a fish in water when it comes to facing new challenges and the changes that life brings on. If you know who my real friends are, just ask them.

The issue for me seems to be the «standing alone» part. It temporarily brings me back to the past, but fast-forward to today. I've had lots of experience standing alone now. I've managed to get through and I continue to push through. I have true friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin, a group of guys in the band invested in the project, dedicated fans from all over the world, new friends with no agendas and the list goes on. All this helps to give me the strength and conviction to keep doing what I do.

For now, the important thing is the third album. We are doing it the way we want to. Nobody else dictated what should and shouldn't be on it. It is our sound, our voice, our tunes, our melodies, my words. Twentysongs on the table and more coming.It will be quite an adventure when it comes time to choose which 12 or 13 songs will make it to the album.

In the words of one music critic regarding « Original Sin », we are evolutionary with our blues fingerprint. Wait until you get a hold of the next one.